I used to think when somebody left my life that I must have done something wrong. I would search for an answer, obsess really on what I must have done. The reality is, usually there isn’t a clear answer. I am, as you are continually growing and evolving. As a result, needs and wants change.
You will meet people along the way that will play all types of roles in your life. Some are to lead you, support you, love you, and laugh with you and in others, it’s your turn. Every connection will have some significance even if you can’t clearly see it.
In some seasons of life, you may be surrounded by friends. Calling, writing, making plans, they seem like your whole world. In other seasons, you may struggle to find someone you trust, that you can rely on or share deeply with. It’s in those times you may have to extend yourself and do a little networking and marketing.
If you were interviewing potential friendship candidates, what would be in your list of requirements? How about “nice to haves”? What qualities do you value in a friend?
Let’s say you have a new hire, what will be your onboarding process? How much time will you take nurturing your new found friend? Friendship comes at a price. Acquaintances are free but to develop a deeper connection and possess a valued friend, you must invest time, effort, and energy.
“Uh huh, yes, oh that’s nice, you don’t say, good for you, that’s marvelous….ok bye now” Have you ever had a conversation like that? How did it make you feel? One-way conversations are selfish and should be limited to an informative text. Considering listening more than you talk – you’ll learn so many more interesting details that way.
Make a date. Actually, schedule time to be a friend. Everyone starts with good intentions but actually SHOW UP. Just show up even when you feel like you’re too busy or you should be doing a host of other things. We all treasure that friend who was always there for us.
Katie Lowenstein recently published an article in Time where she said: “Humans tend to get maximum pleasure and vitality from social bonding – and the payoffs start before you even leave the house, “the anticipation of an experience can be as valuable a source of happiness as the experience itself”
CHALLENGE: to say YES, to go beyond the 4 walls of your mind and extend yourself a little. Evaluate what you need and what you can give and then SHOW UP. Make the intentional effort to nurture and grow your friendships. The pay-off may just be your most valued asset.
I know YOU can do it!
Musical Feature: Bosco & Whiteford www.boscoandwhiteford.com